exiled modalities - venetia ghozlan's poetry zone

Blog EntryFootnoted (A Sacred Song Space Offering)Jun 20, '08 6:04 PM
for everyone
http://sacredsongspace.multiply.com/journal/item/42?mark_read=sacredsongspace:journal:42&replies_read=3#replyform has weekly writing challenges; this week's challenge is to compose something about a focus...I had some terrible news today, which caused think of the impact or lack of impact, we have on the lives, that we hold dear...as always, my works are constantly being revised...


http://www.basildoneye2.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/footprint.jpg



1   let me remember to love in small ways -
    a pulp dancer, who has been too focused
    on large, bawdy grains of insignificance


2   let me be a gateway, a path
    to something greater
    than puerile desires, trite phrases and clichéd emotions

 

3    let me be a body
     of compassion and understanding
     my passionately penned lines and stanzas -
     annotated with more than
     repartee and erudite observations

 

4   let me make your eyes widen
     gasping as you clutch your breast
     in astonishment and wonder

 

5   yes, let me write a warming fire
    and be more than a foregone conclusion
    more than a moth-balled artifact
    lost in someone else's focus
    and footnoted history

 


jakuper wrote on Jun 20
" let me be a body
of compassion and understanding
my passionately penned lines and stanzas -
annotated with more than
repartee and erudite observations "


...Vee...this is PERFECT POETRY! I loved the flow, and the message!



sassymssharon wrote on Jun 21
2 let me be a gateway, a path
to something greater
than puerile desires, trite phrases and clichéd emotions

oh lord I identify with this....sometimes you touch on things that ...that I feel deeply...all of this was full of heady profundities...but girl this second one hit home
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