love
I await thee
achingly
my blood mourns this
frozen wanting
time moves apace
in between wintery laced breaths
held
it is an eon
then I slowly exhale
love
I still await thee

art -Winter Love

Love has got to be more than a physical aching
more than just a genetic disease to please
more than just hollowness inside of you and me.

This flesh is a shell
concealing hopes and dreams
fears and agonies;
I have learned to conceal
the me inside
layers of automatic defenses;
so I reach out to you
but you need to understand
my longing for belonging
is twisted
in hopes of more than mere survival
and I need to know

do you have the tenderness
to mend a tattered heart,
a heart that instinctively shies away
mercy, to walk away when I feel crowded,
pressured and need you gone
strength, to hold me when I am incensed, and driven
by anger and rage
integrity, to tell me when I am hopelessly wrong
and mistaken
courage, to love me through my ups and downs,
madness and dreams
sensitivity, to understand what I say,
infer and share
faith, to know I will always find my way home
to you?

Love has got to be more than a physical aching
more than just a genetic disease to please
more than just a hollowness inside of you and me.

I dreamed of you
and in dreaming
touched you
as you laid below a starlit sky,
remembering the tears that fell
like diamonds from the corners of my eyes
that you then gathered
and held close to your heart.
I dreamed of you
and in dreaming
awoke you
as you labored below a sunlit sky
recalling my smile could reflect
and refract into prismatic wonders
illuminating your soul.
I dreamed of you
and in dreaming...
ignited your visions,
teaching, galvanizing, leading you
to that secret center,
within us all,
where perchance,
you too can dream.

Who are you,
mystery man,
my dear, my love, my heart?
What you say is in conflict,
with your eyes, your touch, your lips.
I can not rectify this conflicting picture of you,
in my mind.
Questions and queries are deflected,
with your chameleon answers,
while you bend with every flow,
distracting me so,
evading so delightfully,
with a kiss and a smile.
Who are you,
mystery man,
who swept into my world,
with a cryptic past,
an inexplicable present,
an undetermined future.
Dare I risk safety and certainty,
for you,
charming man with charismatic answers,
as you elude so enchantingly,
with a smile and a kiss.
What secrets do you screen,
when your shutters close out the world,
and me?

Don't be fooled by the hardness in my tone,
Fear of your touch makes me recoil,
Yet why do I want you?
It defeats all logic,
To erect a wall when you approach,
Confusing who I am, what I am,
Alone behind my defenses,
Resisting the magnetism of your allure.
I want to let you in, but life and love,
Are so dangerous,
And it's so much easier and safer,
To disguise and distant behind intellect,
Away from the eye of my storm,
But if you could feel, hear my thoughts,
See my center,
You would know.

Waking on Saturday morn,
Legs, arms , sheets entwined,
Sleep filled, passion sated eyes,
That slowly open,
To see you.
Mate to my soul,
Yang to my yin,
Infinite lover,
In this finite existence,
My heart...

homeless and tribeless
i traveled isolated and marooned
in a desolate desert
wearily searching
for a home and a harbour
until i arrived in this place
suspended in time
a place of passages
bridging the possible and unattainable
granted a choice to go forward
or re-travel the same dismal paths
previously, taken
i stood indecisive
on this bridge of transitions
then, like a vision
you appeared
hands out stretched
awaking and re-kindling
my concealed ambers of longings
a burgeoning small flicking fire
once concealed, sheltered and protected
from the winding confusing defeating detours
of hate and torment
pain and anger
lies and despair
carefully, cautiously
ignoring my skepticism i fled forward
towards your beckoning arms.

 

...a writing challenge by Tammy; although still a work in progress...

i measure time
by the slow beats of your heart
in the quiet exhalations of breath
as we lay
niched

i have awaited epochs
eons
the birth of mountains
could not have filled me with as much
awe
a precambrian worshiper at your temple
where love layed macroscopic
paleozoic, mesozoic
unflowered and fossilized
separated from you only by mere
skin
and time
there can only be now
as i live, breathe
you

 

 

out of the corner of my eye
wild and reckless
agent provocateur
you beckon to dangerous edges
surreptitiously pondered
these longings
ruthlessly suppressed

teasingly, boldly
you draw a line
daring me to cross it and venture outside
careful constructs of catholic civilization and
odious obligations

having always denied this inner wild hoyden
succumbing
to your theory of flight
and freedom
stumbling in haste and urgency
excomunicant
I learn to fly